My boyfriend tells me that weddings are the most painful events of the summer. I would argue that having a cavity filled, a water skiing accident, or perhaps a blistering sunburn on the top of the feet would be worse, but he stands firm. So firm, in fact, that my little Romeo has begged to get married in a Las Vegas Drive-Thru. He doesn’t want any of our friends to have to sit through a wedding – experience that “pain” – so he’s suggested Vegas. How romantic.
Now notice that we aren’t looking at any ol’ Vegas Chapel – even Britney walked in The Little White Wedding Chapel and got a veil and ceremony – no, it’s so “painful” that we are using a Drive-Thru. In and out! Hey, Mr. Sentimental, maybe we could get a burger and fries while we’re there?! I say to him, “Jerrod, if it’s so painful, then why would you want to marry me?” He says the marriage will be a breeze, it’s just the ceremony that hurts. Who is this man?!
The thing is: he’s not joking! He is firm in his decision and says that if I won’t agree to Vegas, then he and his groomsmen are wearing tuxedo shorts – a cruel ultimatum. Although Jerrod’s legs are nice, most men taper down to skinny little sticks connecting the dots from knee to ankle, all so that “the audience will at least have some entertainment”. Imagining the groomsmen he might choose, the "audience" will be blinded by brilliant shins from black short hem to top of black sock! I say that we are there to exchange personal and sacred vows, not to create a spectacle!
He thinks I’ll come around. He also says he would never propose to a girl unless he was absolutely positive that she’d say ‘yes’. Note the lack of sparkle on my left hand.
3 comments:
it is hard to tell from your post how tongue in cheek this situation is. for your sake, my dear, i hope it is. i wonder how long the two of you have been together for him to be so callous to your desires.
be cautious at this stage. marriage is an extremely important step for you to take and if you start your life together with him giving and you accepting ultimatums, just imagine what the future might hold whenever he 'wants' something.
males are little boys. they need firm boundaries. they actually are comforted by knowing how far they can push and what their options are. the problem is they aren't always consciously aware that is what they need. so like children the continuously test our resolve, push the envelope to see what they can get away with.
dating is the time in a relationship to begin to gently and lovingly introduce a male to these boundaries. oftentimes (unless his mother understood this), this may be the first time he has been exposed to such an experience. it is important to be subtle but firm at this time. let him know what you expect from him and be sure to let him know when he has crossed the line.
he may sulk or even throw a tantrum but it is vital for you to maintain your resolve. it is important to raise the males up to our level and not sink to theirs. if you find a male who accepts you on your terms you are a very lucky woman.
i can see from your pictures that you are a very beautiful and vivascious woman. please never let yourself be minimized or taken for granted. always remember your true worth and your birthright and above all else fully honor your womanhood for that is a treasure beyond all else.
drive-thru wedding....puhlease....ugh
Awhit,
Great post.
Caution_All,
Great feministic view on the post. Great outlook on the male species. You should change your blog name to Caution_MEN_Women_RULE_men_are_little_boys_I_voted_for_kerry.
Get a life.
Uh-hmmm....
Well, I should say now that this piece is not so much a personal journal entry but an opening to a possible one-woman show idea. Yes, my boyfriend jokes about the drive-thru wedding idea and uses such ribbing to mask the fact that he is desperate to start spending the rest of his life with me, but it's always been in jest. I can honestly say, risking his machismo here, that he'd jump at the chance to slip a little diamond on my left ring finger if I'd commit. I've never met someone more loyal, sincere, and supportive of my art even though it's keeping us apart.
This Wedding Pains post was a monologue based partly in truth and I appreciate Jerrod letting me put his rump on the hot seat. My mamaw always tells me to change the names in my writing. Sorry Jerrod. But it is good to see that the character (me - embellished) could affect the audience in different ways.
Thanks for reading y'all! There'll always be more!
Alecia
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