I guess today is the day for crying. I receive a video from my family. I cry. I am homesick.
I check my boyfriend's blog. He has written two entries since last I checked. He is not a bad writer. He excused his macho Pride and allowed Vulnerability to type. He loves me. I can't describe that uniqueness - what it's like, not to just love, but to be loved. I ball. I heave. I sit in front of the computer and turn out the light, somehow feeling better about crying in the dark. I spend about 15 seconds sobbing and asking God aloud, "What am I doing here?! What do you have for me?!"
The doorbell just rang so I ran down the steps, mid-blogging, to answer the postman's call. It is a letter from my mom with our church directory family pictures. Can you guess? Yeah, I cry. I also received a box from my boyfriend. I haven't opened it. The tears of the day are still drying salty on my cheeks. I blow my nose and decide to give my heart a break. I'll open the box - but later.
Check out the man who loves me. See why I cry. Take a peek into my heart and when you see the small hole, eaten away by longing, then you'll know where he lives. In that little niche. Always with me.
www.studpace.blogspot.com
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