Stardumb

Being the celebrity that I am, it is only fitting that I hang out with fellow celebrities. One is my dear friend Ellen. Now, I'm not referring to Ellen DeGeneres - with whom I am practically sisters - but I'm speaking of my friend Ellen Hagan - with whom I can almost remember from the womb. It can get so confusing having two b.f.f.s named Ellen, so I will refer to them as Def Poet (Ellen Hagan) and Comedian (Ellen DeGeneres).

Now, as many of you know, after Comedian became famous, our friendship fell apart. We rarely spoke. The Christmas cards and family vacations dwindled off until they were only documented in scrapbooks. She let the fame and money zoom to her head and she flew off on her star without looking back. Oh, sure, she's embarrassed of the way she acted now and we've reconciled the hurt I felt when our blood-sisters friendship was dropped like a bag of potatoes; but she's recently made up for it all by pulling me up to sit on her star with her.

I guess everything works out for a reason, because while she was out playing clubs, making TV shows, doing voice-overs, and staring in a daytime talk show so good that JLo tapes it every day, I met my other half. Had I been out chasing that dream, I might have missed my soul mate. Of course Comedian and I laugh over it all now, (especially over the national television airwaves). I am amazed at my humility, because as much as I'm being photographed and signing autographs, I am still working at a restaurant to let my fans know that I am still one of them.

Def Poet is more like me. She teaches the children of New York City how to write, express themselves on the page, dream. And she leads a great example. Being a Def Poet, she has to set the bar high, which I will say that she has "def"initely done. For example, at the taping of HBO's Def Poetry Season 5 on Thursday evening, as we were hanging out with our friends Mos Def and Kanye West (poet and rapper - actor and producer - "Italian Job" and "Jesus Walks"), she kept it real by only giggling at their stupid pick-up lines rather than bat her eyelashes. I thought that this showed uncompromisable self-constraint and let them know that she was unfazed by their bling; for Kentucky vixens such as we possess hearts of gold that far surpass the glitter of their chain medallions.

Def Poet and I give back to the community. We don't let the recent stardom we've encountered alter our balanced and humble personalities. A good example of this is that we decided to blow off the Oscars this year. Yes, yes. I know what you're thinking: "How can Awhit and Def Poet not attend the O's?" Well, we gave up our seats to a couple from Texas that's been married 50 years and decided to watch from home. After all, if we aren't nominated (snubbed once again by peers too jealous to publicly admit our accomplishments) then we'd rather just pop some kernels and constantly text message Comedian (who will more than likely be in the front row like she was at the Grammy's) just to ask her if/who/how many people have asked about us.

As you can see, being a celebrity is tough. But listen, you learn important things about life:
1. Never go to awards where paparazzi will surely be if you have a large facial zit. (They won't airbrush that thing out.)
2. Never go to the bathroom expecting to be in and outta there. Women will have you sign their used toilet paper before they'll let you in a stall without an autograph.
3. Blogs are high maintenance to keep up once you've got a following, (especially when it's 2am, you've worked a 14 hour shift, and you're only writing because your fans are threatening to cancel their subscriptions); however, they are a great way to live in fantasy, while allowing the world wide web to reflect: "Maybe she should have just gone to bed."