iGod - Part I

I AM ALL-PRESENT
for The Journey Christian Church
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I am... bright blonde hair sticking out of a too-big head, static cling pullin' at it, wool Christmas sweater not helping. Am child. Am princess, am center of the party, am digging under the tree like a bee to honey, wrapping paper tossed here and there, thick rug carpet somewhere underneath it all. Am curious like crawling into cardboard boxes, mischievous like hiding in Mamaw's closet, cute as a kitten like squeakin' out "Jesus loves me this I know" in front of the whole family. Am 4 years old. Am a doll.

i am.

I am... voice high and off key, big braces flashing the congregation like, "Bam! I got a solo in the youth choir!" Am energy. Am adolescent. Am middle school piano lessons, intramural basketball, am all kinds of passing notes in class - old enough to know what name-brand jeans are, poor enough not to own any, but hip enough to tight roll the ones I got. Am in love for the first time... every - single - day of sixth grade. Am a puppet.

i am.

I am... crackin' a joke at my locker as the seniors strut down the hall. My friends laugh at me and I am a hair tossing, twirling, crimping, big bangs sporting junior - boy crazy like I need something to change - my - life. I am youth group on Wednesdays, french-kissing on Friday nights, and Sunday School on Sunday mornings like it was God saving my soul and not Brian Whitson. Am myself and my shadow. Am a mannequin.

i am.

I am... moving the tassle from the left to the right and the only one of my friends not getting married. Am college graduate like Mom and Dad are so proud and college graduate like wanting to rip up every photo they're snapping - like I don't know what to do with my life. Am a blonde haired, perfect smile, life of the party, college graduate with a degree and no office to hang it in. Don't want to work for Dad, can't teach like Mom, and 22 years of "I'm sinning and I know it" to even ask God what He thinks. Am a blank stare, fake smile, and broken heart. Am a shell.

i am.

not alone... but feelin' that way.
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I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU OR FORSAKE YOU. Joshua 1:5