The unfortunate truth is that I don't look good in hats. I've tried several varieties: trucker caps, baseball caps, toboggans, cowboy hats, beanies, visors, berets... you name it, I can't pull it off. I'm not sure if it's my ears, my thick hair, or my large head. I think it may actually be a combination of the three.
This Christmas, my mother bought me an awesome winter coat, accompanied with a scarf, set of leather gloves, and black winter hat. Now, I see the hat and think, "Why did Mom even try? She knows I look like a bum in hats. People actually offer me the spare change from their jeans pockets when they see me in a hat."
But 'tis the season for miracles and incredibly, the hat fit like a glove - (Not to say a glove would fit on my head or that my fingers would be as nimble in a hat, but you understand the metaphor, I'm sure.) Quite snug, and impossible in a pony tail, but if I pulled it on using enough force and kinda flattened my hair, this hat became a beautiful part of me. I loved the hat... wore it every day. Not only did it keep my head warm and block the harsh winds from freezing my ears off, but I somehow managed to look normal.
So on March 9, 2005 around 11:30am, I found myself on the 1, 9 platform searching my pockets. It was a little chilly in the subway tunnel and my ears longed for their protector. My search, however, was frugal. I was finally hit with a sordid image:
Twelve minutes before, I had taken off the hat to eat a sandwich on the subway. A man was looking at me hungrily, (staring I should say), so I moved to the seats "reserved for handicapped" so that I could put my back to him and munch away. Well, being disgruntled that I didn't offer him a bite, he must have giggled with glee when he saw my beautiful black hat sitting alone on the yellow seat - abandoned - lost forever.
The lamenting in the following hour and a half was intense. I am trying to tell myself that the hat has probably found a new home, but then the thought of the hungry man nibbling on its soft brim leaves me in great angst. I have decided against children; I mean a hat is one thing, but what if I forgot my child on the train?! Also, I have decided not to attempt replacing the hat. I need the time to mourn first, and I think of the last two and a half months as "The Golden Period".
I now pray for a speedy spring.
2 comments:
So you lost your hat. How interesting!!! I also must agree with you on the way you feel about hats because I'm the same way. To try and get the right size fitted takes me years and it has to be perfect, not too snug and not too loose but just right. Its funny that you just happened to mention this whole hat ordeal since today I decided to buy myself a baseball cap. Today is the first time I posted my comment and to tell you the truth its pretty funny to read what you're experiencing throughout your days. I'll be looking forward to reading your other blogs. See you at Sardi's.
oh that sucks!! And it happens to me all the time. And not just with things like hats. I loose jewlry. I loose whole articles of clothing. I loose cell phones and car keys. I try to blame it on genetics. :)
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