Momma Mondays - A Regular Guy

First let me start by saying that every time I try to write a quick blog post, my 10.5 month old ends up scooting over and getting trapped under the desk. For example, at the present, he is already poking my toes with his index finger, the little E.T. in training that he is.

Second, brace yourself for this post. If you're not a parent, you may not want to read ahead. And even if you are, you may find the subject a little hard. I have to tell you that this little whippersnapper still has the worst constipation known to man. Yeah, I went there. I'm sorry, but listen, it's been 3 months now and we're starting to get worried. He associates going to the bathroom with pain, so we see him trying his hardest to hold it in. When I see that red face and hear that grunting, I swoop in and rip off his diaper faster than you can say, "Is this blog post going to get graphic?" (it's not, btw)

People say, "Wow, he's already potty trained? That's amazing!

Well, yeah, since he's been 8.5 months, he's gone number two on the toilet. (He even has his own little seat.) But it's not a good thing. He is in no way potty trained. I think to be potty trained, children are supposed to let you know when they have to go and you help them go on the potty. In this case, he tries stealthily to hold it in, wiggling around so that the floor and diaper help push it in; but I intervene and force him to sit on the pot and rub his tummy so he can't fight it. He cries and holds onto my neck, pushing those little fingers into my skin, and bounces up and down. He wants to withhold, but gravity wins. It's awful. I hate it for him. (Also, I don't exactly have the best seat in the house for these movements, considering where one's face ends up in a poo-time hug.)

The poor guy empties his entire intestines and then doesn't go again for five days. The last time he dropped a hard-as-a-rock load, his papaw said in amazement, "Man! Looks like the boy lost a few pounds."

There are a few reasons I'm sharing. One, we've been to the pediatrician four times and they keep telling us to give him more fiber. Knox gets a spoonful of Benefiber, a bottle of prune juice and water, homemade veggies, organic baby food (fruits and veggies only), and breastmilk every single day. His system refuses to react to such remedies as Karo syrup or suppositories anymore. (It's almost as if he's built up an immunity to these things now.) The only thing that makes him go is an enema, which was a last resort we finally took after 2.5 months of watching him suffer and trying everything else.

Which leads me to the second reason I'm sharing: If you're a parent out there that's struggling with this same issue, you're not alone. And if you have struggled and have answers, please feel free to share them with me. But please don't be like the model who saw/heard Knox going in the stall the other day after my audition. He was crying, had snot running down his nose, belly hurting and mood foul. My heart was breaking for him. It was the craziest poo I'd ever seen - like twice an adult's in length - and this skinny blond twenty-something said quite judgmentally, "Why don't you give him prunes?" (Because, you know, I'm such an idiot and such a bad person that I relish the current state of affairs, love watching my son suffer, and wouldn't have thought of prunes.)

(side note - Incredibly, Knox just interrupted my writing by scooting under my desk and letting out a strong shout. Seriously? He just made a poo in his diaper and it was too painful to sit on, therefore interrupting his playing. I changed him and took a pic, but won't post it here. Let's just say... baseball.)

And now I tell you, this is why we have an appointment with a gastroenterologist this afternoon. Although I am uplifted by the fact that his bowels moved without my assistance just now, he still doesn't fill his britches with soft squishy baby poo, and that's a problem. Please pray for little Knox and hope that we get some answers today. We hope it's nothing serious, but while we're happy to see our son thrive in unique ways, this is one area of his life where we wish he were a regular guy.

Fan Club Friday - Dynamite

Every now and then, a song hits the charts that you can't get out of your head. Back in the day, these were the songs that inspired me to jump up on stage or shake my booty extralicious (oh! new word!). Nowadays, these are the songs that I blare in my car and dance to at home, switching lanes on the BQE with spunk or bouncing around the house with the perfect mixture of percolation and personality. There are songs that move you and songs that you move to, and Dynamite by Taio Cruz falls into the latter category.

Click here to see the video on YouTube.

Now, once in a lifetime does one of your favorite songs find itself married to an unforgettable music video spotlighting your favorite team. Recently that's what happened to me when the University of Kentucky did a music video of sorts to this song incorporating athletes from every. single. sporting. team at the school. Over 200 athletes participated and the most incredible part is that they did it in ONE TAKE! One take people!

Professors could take note when trying to get their students to focus. These director/producers were able to convince over 200 student athletes into donating their sparse spare time to a video for the Catsby Awards that wouldn't serve them in any way but to show their friends/family. This wasn't for credit or mandatory by their coaches. It was just something they participated in for school pride/spirit and if you ask me, it's pretty doggone cool. Made me miss college... and my youth a little bit, too.

So Go Wildcats!

"I wanna celebrate and live my life!" This rules. I especially love the mascot doing the Dougie and the National Champion Rifle team showing off their trophy.